You may be in a job or career that you’ve outgrown, lost all passion for, and you’ve been contemplating leaving for some time. You may have even got as far weighing up your outgoings with your incomings to see if you can afford it. And there seems to be possibilities. You’ve devised a plan of how you could quit, what you’d need to do first, and then next, and then after that. Part – time work, your savings, your investments, some traning, and other options open up more possibilities.
You could do this…
But… You are worried about not having enough money.
"I won’t have enough money to live on"
"I wont be able to pay my bills"
"I wont be able to afford my lifestyle"
"What if there isn’t enough money"
The first question to ask yourself. Are these statements actually true?
After you have done your budgeting, looked at your resources and you have a plan of action, are these statements actually true?
If the answer is yes, there is more exploration to be done regarding your plan of action and solutions to balance your dreams within your current financial capacity.
However if these statements are actually false…. If your fears about money are unfounded - it is fear, not money that is influencing your decisions.
Beneath your fears about not having enough money are often fears you have about yourself.
Here are some examples:
I fear I’m being unrealistic for go after my dreams.
I fear what other people will think of me if I leave this job.
I fear I don’t have what it takes to make this work.
I fear letting my family down
I fear I will fail.
I fear I’m not good enough to have what I want.
It is human nature to avoid what we don’t want or fear, instead of seeking what we want. While we avoid fear, to feel safe, we avoid the possibility of our dreams.
Choosing the riskier option, does mean opening yourself up to a level of uncertainty. Maybe financial security is something that you hold highly. At this moment in time, how much risk feels comfortable to you?
How does that risk measure up to staying where you are? How can you look differently at this risk so that it feels intentional? What is guaranteed that makes your dreams highly likely to happen? What is it about you that you know there’s no lack of demand of?
Think of a time in your life when you felt like you were about to loose everything (Or similar). Make a list of all the fears that you had when things felt the worst. Now look at this list. How many of these fears actually came true? If there are a few that did, what is it that you did to get through that situation to where you where today. Knowing that you got through that situation, what would you do differently if it happened again?
If you have enough money to pay your bills, put food on the table, provide for your family and have an active life, what is it really that you fear.
Many of us go on holiday to decompress, reset, and reenergise, and come back to our own realities feeling refreshed. Having time to pause, exhale and release, is incredibly important. However we don't have to wait for the next holiday, to experience this.
The audio below, will allow to go to a place in your mind that has has always allowed you to slow down and reconnect with yourself. A few of my favourite spaces, usually involve a bench and somewhere green. For me, this not only symbolises stillness and peace, but also a space that welcomes, whoever you are, however you feel, with whatever you need from that space. There are no rules or expectations, just freedom to be.
Take a moment to think of your favourite calm space as you listen to this visualisation.
I’m on my sofa, appreciating the winter sunshine come through the window, shades of yellow and gold, lighting up my living room. The pink 'get well' roses from a dear friend, look gorgeous in the daylight. I’ve sat here for a number of days. It’s usually my favourite place; solitude, warmth, sunshine, and my sofa. But it's not today.
Today is the forth week in a row that being at home, hasn’t been a choice. I’m tired and in pain, and I don’t feel in control of my own body. Especially with simple things; my side hurts when I chop food. I chop food all of the time! Walking hurts, I love walking. And I have no energy.
This is my new normal. For now. It's temporary. And it feels anything but normal.
My thoughts have been running some similar themes:
"Being unwell feels really lonely"
"How dare you complain about something that’s temporary. For some people it isn’t."
You just need to rest and get better."
Then there is me in the middle, feeling sad, frustrated, and out of sync with my own body. Feeling guilty that I can't do more and wondering if i'm somehow responsible.
And here is the truth: I'd become tuned into everything else but the sound of my own body talking to me. Sometimes I forgot to listen. Sometimes I chose not to listen.
All my body has only ever wanted me to put her first, give her some time, let her rest and to heal.
This short term set backs only intention is to make me better.
And so now I am listening, being patient, caring and accepting where I am.
Body, I am ready when you are…
The nerves, The Critic and Camomile Tea
The louder that voice got, the lower my confidence felt, the more vulnerable I felt and I wanted to go home. How can I talk about confidence and resilience when I'm not feeling either at the moment?!!
I have worked hard over the years, to get to a place where 'my own skin' and me have learned to become friends. But two days beforehand, worthy, confident and enough, came in a unfamiliar package that had not been addressed to me.
Six years ago, I found myself five years into a job that was making me ill. I was stressed, exhausted and losing weight, and as much as I'd heard the “you're lucky to even have a job”, “it’s the wrong time to be looking for a new job” etc., I couldn’t shift the unhappiness, longing and frustration that I felt. The job I once loved had become unrecognisable, and I was screaming inside.
Six months later, I finally found the courage to apply for new jobs, and was offered a post in a similar field. Momentary delight soon followed acute concern. Alarm bells crept in, and I was confused; why do I feel the same way?
My concerns were short lived as fate played a hand. Two weeks after I'd started my new role, the company went into liquidation, and I was out of a job.
After initial numbness, blaming and cursing, I was overcome with an incredible emotion that I had not experience for some time; relief. Yes relief.