How many times in your life have you been told how to be? Probably too many to count. You have learned it’s not ok to be vulnerable, to express your true feelings and genuine emotions. Even if you are breaking inside, your exterior exudes societies expectation of being ‘together’. As far as the rest of the world is concerned, you are ‘just fine’.
Responses to your feelings may have been to ‘think positively’ and to ‘cheer up’. Well-intentioned loved ones may have feared your unguarded emotions, while past experiences have persuaded you that vulnerability exposes your flaws.
Contributors to these stories, often project their own fears and beliefs onto you. Acknowledging your vulnerability and accepting you where you are, often means they have to acknowledge vulnerabilities of their own.
'Finding strength' has its place; it’s often the underpinning from which you are able to acknowledge pain, move through it and learn from your experience. But it does not come in the place of being vulnerable; it comes as a result of it. Being able to meet yourself where you are and show some self-compassion is where the true ability to live your life authentically comes from.
Every time you tell yourself that you’re ok, to ‘get over it’ and 'be positive', notice the energy this takes from you.