Looking for 'good enough' in the wrong gift wrapping

​The nerves, The Critic and Camomile Tea

​Its 12pm; I have an hour before the afternoon group that I will be facilitating alone.  I have facilitated this group most Fridays for the last three months. But today was different. 

I continued to fill my cup with camomile tea only to need the toilet due to nerves five minutes later.  Anxiety had crept in, and that critical voice, the one that tells me “you cant do this”, “I see right through you”, and “you’re not good enough.” 

The louder that voice got, the lower my confidence felt, the more vulnerable I felt and I wanted to go home.  How can I talk about confidence and resilience when I'm not feeling either at the moment?!!

​I have worked hard over the years, to get to a place where 'my own skin' and me have learned to become friends. But two days beforehand, worthy, confident and enough, came in a unfamiliar package that had not been addressed to me.

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